What You Want
by AbstractionDesolation
Summary: Kylux smut! Blood and sex. Sadistic Hux, Masochistic Ren. Suicidal ideation. SMUT! Cutting. No outer space, just the here and now. There is no fluff here. Please don't read if you want a carbon copy of my other works - this has blood play and smut! Is this clear enough warning?


"So all this leads up to…" The red head trailed off, waiting for the man he was facing to confirm the lunacy.

"You killing me." The matter of fact, almost bored sounding voice didn't fit the words.

"Right. I kill you and go to jail for the rest of my life, just for you to what? Get off on the adventure of it?"

Something wavered behind the dark eyes, unintelligible, but definite. "No."

He waited for more, taking in the long hair – he couldn't tell if it was black or so dark brown it didn't matter – the wide eyes, pale skin, and striking face. He was good looking, but not overly so. There was weariness to him, a tension in his face and stance that spoke volumes. Eventually the other man relented, continuing in his low, quiet voice. "You wouldn't be implicated. I promise." Despite the extra inch of height the dark stranger seemed smaller, huddled in on himself. "I've got it planned." He cocked his head towards a small desk. On it was an ordinary memo pad, covered in heavy, masculine handwriting.

"A suicide note." Somehow he was only half surprised. Anyone that would write an ad looking for someone to "give a masochist what he needs" had to have a few screws loose. Of course, what did it say about him that he had responded? He took an unconscious step towards the note, wanting to see what was written on the page.

A black-clad arm flung out against his chest, keeping him from moving further. "Don't. … Just … don't. Ok? Are we going to do this or not?"

He sighed, reaching out a hand. "Hux. What did you have in mind for … before …"

"Before I die." It was a bare whisper. "This way." He turned, ignoring the hand, and started off down the hall, leaving the small living room behind. Hux dropped his arm, noticing the sparse décor, the worn and dated kitchen, and barren walls as he followed.

"Nice place." It was lame and he knew it, but he was supposed to be in control here. He thought he heard a faint huff of laughter, but he couldn't be sure. "What do I call you then?"

"Ren."

Hux almost ran into the broad back when Ren stopped to open the door. He stepped in, flicking a light switch as he crossed the thresh hold. Hux followed, noticing the shift from dirty tan carpet to lavish hardwood flooring as he entered the room. He looked up, expecting more throwback relics of the seventies and being surprised to find a rather large, well-appointed bedroom. Soft lighting, stormy grey paint, dark wood furniture, and a large bed covered with a black and crimson duvet. The walls were what stunned him the most. Blades of all shapes and sizes glinted in the overhead light. Knives with precise lines and curves, swords that Hux thought he might have trouble lifting one handed, weapons he had no names for. His heart thudded a bit heavier, all the shining metal calling to him, beckoning, making him shiver with the thought of gliding an edge over Ren's skin. He must have made some soft sound, because Ren faced him and nodded, the first trace of an emotion on his face. Pride? "What do you think of my collection?"

Hux swallowed a few times before gaining his voice. "It's impressive!" He reached out reverently, waiting to be stopped, but Ren didn't move. He ran a finger along a sword, tracing the blood red and black wrapping the silver grip. It had an odd shape – two side blades protruded from the main edge in a 't' shaped cross piece at the hilt. It seemed unwieldy, as though it would force danger too close should an opponent get too near. A small smile tugged his lips as he thought about the implications, of the unnecessary threat it would pose to the combatant. It fit well with the scant amount he knew about Ren.

"That was custom made for me." Still quiet, still deep, now with a definite pride to it. "The rest are more or less as-is, but this," he reached in front of Hux, gripping the blade and lifting it from the wall. "This is all mine." He stepped back, twisting the sword, whirling it through the air in a hissing arc. The shining edge threw fractured light as Ren got into it, moving with a strength and grace Hux wouldn't have attributed to him. There was barely enough space between the foot of the bed and the wall, but Ren danced in it, fluid and mesmerizing. His face was transformed from striking to downright handsome by the shining focus of his eyes, the passionate look he gained.

Hux stared; he couldn't help it. The display was so powerful, so controlled, so beautiful that he was nearly breathless. When Ren stopped he was breathing slightly heavier and he finally stood to his full height. He was broad shouldered, chest defined beneath the long sleeved t-shirt that Hux was finally noticing as it stretched across his pecs.

"Nicely done." It was the best he could come up with. It had been a masterful display, but somehow it didn't feel right to say so. Ren put the sword up and looked down, hair falling around his face in an almost bashful way.

"Thanks. But these are what you're here for." He strode across the room, long legs eating up the distance in a few strides. He sat on the edge of the bed, opened a side table and pulled out a black cloth bundle. Hux watched from the doorway, but Ren looked up impatiently. At the look in those eyes he wandered closer, finally standing near enough to touch as Ren laid the item on the bed and began unwrapping the satiny material. When the contents were revealed he sat on the edge of the bed himself, gazing down. Six knives lay within, black finish dull against the soft fabric. They were flat, no differentiation between blade and handle, almost cheap looking. Until you got to the edge. The edges were honed so finely that even from afar Hux could tell they were razor sharp. His breath hitched again.

"You can use whichever you like, if you'd rather, but these are the sharpest I have." Ren sounded hesitant, but Hux just nodded, enraptured. These were ideal. Small, controllable, sharp. He liked the tools he used to be sharp. It made the cuts that much easier, that much sweeter, since he could cut deeper with less instant pain. Not that he'd had much opportunity to exercise his desires. Too many people were too prudish, too afraid. Few women, and even fewer men in his life had enjoyed even a small amount of blood play. Even fewer still had allowed the mix of sadism and blood play in their sex life. Ren was offering a chance to let the need to bleed loose.

He'd found Ren's advert while absently trolling the internet. He'd been looking for something interesting and he'd found it. "Give a masochist what he needs" the title had screamed. "I need someone willing to cut me. To make me bleed. I need someone that needs to be a little sadistic – someone that knows what they want and won't stop. I will give you what you need – the chance to go too far." The opportunity to play with a willing toy… it was intriguing. But when he'd first entered the tiny home and stood in the bare living room he'd been tempted to leave. Ren's plan went far beyond "a little blood play." He'd laid out the basic idea – Hux would have every opportunity he wanted to cut, but he had to finish with slitting Ren's wrists for him. "The ultimate in sado-masochistic needs." He wasn't sure about that.

He enjoyed knives. Liked causing small amounts of pain, hearing whimpers and pleas. It was one of his most hidden turn-ons. He knew how to use his skills to cause pleasure that rode the thin line between ecstasy and too much, but he rarely got to let that aspect of himself shine. Here he was being offered a chance to surrender to his own needs but the earnest look Ren had worn while describing the end result was almost too much. He didn't think he could kill someone. Not on purpose. No matter how much they wanted it.

"Umm. Hux?" Hux shook his head, rattling himself out of his reverie. He looked up from the package on the bed and found himself face to face with Ren.

"You'd let me slice you up with these." Again it was a statement rather than a question; he knew the answer. Ren nodded solemnly. "You trust me that much?' Now it was a question, but tinged with awe rather than need for reassurance.

"I like pain. You like to give pain. I'm planning to die anyway. It's not like I have to worry about something going wrong." Ren's voice was calm, but his eyes danced. He was deep into anticipation, wondering just what Hux would do to him. The intense gleam made Hux's breath hitch. Ren would enjoy it - whatever was done to him, he would enjoy it. Maybe as much as Hux would himself.

"Where then?" He looked around the neat room, wondering if Ren had a basement or large bathroom.

Ren stood, laying the knives on the side table they'd come out of, and flung the duvet off the foot of the bed. It puddled in a crimson and black striped wad, revealing white cotton sheets. The stark brightness startled Hux, but he realized with a smile and spoke. "To see the blood better." Ren nodded in approval. Hux continued to stare, realizing belatedly that he'd done little but stare since he arrived. Motion in his peripheral made him turn his head. The black long sleeved shirt Ren had been wearing dropped to the floor. His freckled chest was pale, muscles defined nicely, nipples a dark rosy contrast with small silver barbells adorning them. A moment later and he wriggled out of the black jeans, standing nearly naked and unabashed in front of the fully clothed Hux. He peered out of a curtain of his hair, a wary jungle cat waiting for the next move.

Scars lined Ren's arms and thighs. Thin silver etchings that thickened and darkened into newer pink lines as they marched along his body. The red boxer briefs he wore highlighted the most recent carvings; mostly healed but still an angry color. His abdomen was unmarried, the v of his hip bones diving into the undershorts obscenely. Hux licked his lips. Ren was stunning. Physically strong, mentally broken, and beautiful in his strange way. Hux sucked his lower lip under, biting it to keep from making an unfortunate comment. He'd been invited for blood, not sex, and he'd have to take his half pleasure as he got it. Sex was the easy part, he was being offered something more rare, and he didn't want to fuck it up now by letting it slip how attractive he found Ren.

Ren mimicked him, sucking his lip under and biting, releasing it tantalizingly slowly, staining it rosy with pressure. "Ready?" His voice had dropped lower still, a bass growl.

Any misgivings Hux had about the future of things burned away under the intense need he had to touch the man in front of him. His own voice came out husky and strained. "Should I undress?"

Those broad shoulders shrugged and Ren eased into the sheets, looking less pale when in contrast to such vivid whiteness. "If you want, just don't forget anything when you leave or it could be traced back to you." He reached over, right hand fumbling for a blade. When he secured it he brought it to his chest, balancing the point along his sternum, waiting. The motion of his breath wasn't quite enough to press his skin to metal, but Hux could see the pulse in his throat jump. He really wanted to do this - seemed excited for it even.

Hux slipped out of his button down, a gray five shades darker than Ren's bedroom walls, and folded it carefully. He slid out of his black dress pants and socks and folded them neatly as well. He wore no jewelry and his own body was milk pale and freckled, a marvel of redheaded Irishman genetics. He was nearly as tall as Ren, but not so wide. His own physique was more uniform, unlike Ren who was more muscular in his upper body than his lower. Still, Ren had strong legs and his calves tapered to angular ankles and strangely elegant feet. Hux stood for a moment in his plain black boxer shorts, trying to prepare himself.

He felt that part of himself begin to surface - the side of his mind that took control, shaped the situation and didn't back down. He felt his expression shut down, locking out the sexual side that showed emotion, and he slid onto the bed, kneeling so his right thigh touched Ren's left. He stroked his finger tips up Ren's arm, gripping more and more until he clutched the knife still in Ren's fist. Using their connection he pushed, gently, slowly, until a small hiss of breath and a bead of blood trickled from the man beside him. His face never changed; he enjoyed that sound on several levels, but the one that would make him smile was buried.

"You can say 'stop.' You can tell me to leave and I will. But you asked for this, and I won't feel guilty for what I do to you." Hux went though his prepared speech. Whenever he was about to use more than nails and teeth on someone he reminded himself to be careful. To tell them they had an out. Usually he asked safety questions - are you on blood thinners, are you anemic, do you bruise easily? - that he'd learned could mean the difference between a second session and a hospital. But it didn't seem to matter here. He'd made sure Ren was clean (as far as trusting a stranger went, he had a recent lab report stating as such) but beyond that Ren was determined to die, and Hux was determined to ignore that until he had to face it. Asking would just bring back the monotone voice that spoke of death, and Hux really didn't find that appealing.

Ren shook his head, gripping Hux's hand with his other until Hux's was sandwiched between both of Ren's, the blade still ever so slightly embedded. With a small hitch, Ren bucked, causing a slow rivulet of blood beneath them. Hux pressed harder, rising slightly on his knees for leverage. Ren flung his head back, a small pleased sound on his lips. Carefully he unwrapped the knife from their combined grasp. The black metal edge was obscured in red. Still unsmiling, Hux held the weapon carefully flat as he forced Ren's hands down to the bed. "Who's driving here?" Mewling, Ren thrust a lip out in a pout.

Hux placed the tip of the blade in the hollow of Ren's throat. The light touch was enough to split the tender skin and he dragged a slow, long line to meet the small cut they'd made together. Blood welled, pooling but not spilling over. Hux carefully carved a horizontal line intersecting that one, just above Ren's nipples. He pressed the corners of the + he'd made, blood seeping up and staining his fingers. He locked eyes with Ren and drew his hand up to his face. Entranced, Ren watched him as he licked the blood away with sensuous strokes of his tongue. Hux made a contented noise in his throat and leaned forward, whispering just above the crimson chest, "Do you want this?" A quietly whimpered "yes," and Hux pressed his lips to the wound. It was minor, it wasn't his usual precision, but it was bloody and it was there.

The scent of old pennies filled his nostrils as he flicked his tongue out over the torn flesh. He teased the edge, coaxing more blood, and he lapped it up. It tasted primal and he wanted more. Sitting up he swapped blades for a clean one from the cloth, resting the used one carefully on the far side of the nightstand. Ren took the opportunity to sit up and press himself to Hux, bloody chest to unmarred, face to face. Hux loved the slickness between their bodies and had to remind himself to calm the sexual side again. But Ren was making it so difficult.

That lower lip pouted out again and Hux sighed inwardly. Damn it, but he wanted it all. And Ren was so pliant ... Fuck it. He surged forward, bruising their mouths together in a kiss tinged with Ren's blood. Ren opened against him, moaning. Hux bit that lower lip, brain short circuiting slightly when Ren wrapped his long arms around his back and crushed him closer. The bite turned hard, but Ren kept making low sounds in his throat, reaching an almost orgasmic sounding growl as teeth cut through and their mouths filed with blood. When Hux finally pulled back, his lips were like a wound, throbbing in time with his speeding heart and dripping gore. Ren just grinned, mouth equally bloody and flopped back to the bed. A trickle of blood slithered from the corner of his lips down his smooth angular cheek and made the first mark on the sheets.

Throwing the last pretenses of caution to the wind, Hux let his mind rejoin, sexual and predatory together in one feral need. He threw a leg over Ren and straddled his thighs. Ren was truly enjoying things if the outline in his shorts was anything to go by. Hux felt a stirring in his own groin as he cut a new line horizontally across Ren's belly. The bulge in Ren's boxers twitched and Hux made another line lower. He made a third, dangerously close to the waistband and he thought Ren might explode.

Beneath them, blood was collecting rapidly. It pooled along Hux's knees as he straddled his toy. He leaned forward, licking the chest wound again, feeling Ren's eagerness pressing against his stomach. His own erection twitched and he watched Ren's eyes as he sat up and started to close the distance between their groins. Ren didn't object. He rocked his hips slightly and Hux took it as encouragement. He pressed their bodies together through the layers of fabric.

He lay forward, pressing his chest to Ren's again, cocks rubbing, and cut a line at an angle from Ren's right shoulder to the criss cross he'd made earlier. He made another line from the left to right. These were deeper, bleeding more heavily. Hux ran gentle finger tips down the pattern he had made, moaning appreciatively when his touch made Ren grind against him. The lip was still bleeding and Hux sucked it into his mouth again, worrying at it. Ren trailed his hands up and down Hux's back, fingers digging and dragging but never leaving a nail mark.

When he finally released the lip Hux whispered again. "I can stop. I can leave and we can forget this. Or I can go further. I can make it hurt. I can cut you deeper, drink you in and make you cum as you bleed." His voice grew heated as he quieted to a bare whisper. He knew what he wanted. These little marks were nothing. Kitten scratches. He could turn tiger. He could and would. If Ren wanted it.

"Oh, God, you'd do that? Touch me as I bleed?" There was no horror, just the sound of a dehydrated man being offered water. Need and awe. "Please, Hux." In response, Hux ground his hips into the man beneath him. Both were fully hard, throbbing now.

Hux swapped knives again. Somehow having several was intriguing. Now he placed the blade an inch or two beneath Ren's left nipple. This time when he carved he pressed harder, opening up a slice that didn't bleed right away. Instead the gash showed pink and meaty before welling up. It was deep, Hux knew, but not dangerous. He repeated on the other side, then placed the knife carefully beside them. He cupped Ren's chest, caressing as though he were a woman. When his thumbs arced down he ran them into the wounds, making Ren writhe beneath him. He was panting, hair splayed wildly around his face, pupils blown, cheeks flushed. Hux watched the expressions of pleasure and smiled. This was a true treat - a responsive body practically begging for more.

Using his knees he directed Ren to slide over toward the middle of the bed. A rough outline of his body stained in blood where they vacated and Hux shivered in pleasure. He ground his cock into Ren harder, friction making them both moan, Ren's rising into a keen on the end as Hux leaned forward again and bit the side of his neck. His jaw worked, intent on bruising that lean expanse of throat. His hips writhed on their own, hands sliding up and down the slick ruin of body.

Ren ran his hand along the grazes on his belly, coating his hand with red and brought it up to Hux. Taking the offering, Hux licked his fingers clean, making little flourishes with his tongue, hinting at skills better used on other body parts. Ren whimpered and wriggled, trying to gain more friction between them. Hux rose on his knees again, careful of the knife he'd left beside them, and trailed his hands down the sides of Ren's body. He lingered at the deep cuts, trailed down his ribs, teased the edges of the abdominal slices and slid his hands down his hips taking the red cloth with him.

He bared Ren's body slowly, unveiling his hard length bit by bit, raking his nails down his thighs as he moved. Ren gasped and twitched as his cock was freed. He was large, cut, and had a drop of precum leaking already. Leaving Ren's underwear at mid thigh Hux gave a wolffish grin. He grabbed he knife again and opened a new mark just above Ren's thick dark pubic hair. He dipped his fingers in the pooling heat, smearing red across his palm until it dripped. He took hold of Ren's cock with his bloody hand and started stroking, watching Ren's back arch and his eyes lose focus.

With his free hand he struggled to pull his own shorts out of the way. He had to let go, earning a miserable yowl and a bucking thrust against him before he was able to press his own naked flesh against Ren. The knife fell to the bed, forgotten, as Hux again dipped into the blood. This time he held their bodies together, feeling the heated smooth skin of Ren's shaft against his own. He stroked their erections together, running fingertips up and over the head of Ren's dick mixing his pleasure with the blood. Ren was arching into it, gripping Hux's waist, moaning and whimpering loudly.

The sounds he made drove Hux wild and he began to pump in earnest, eager for release. "Oh, fuck, Hux, don't stop! I'm almost there!" Ren's words were lost in a moan and a few moments later he came. Hux grinned, watching the cum turn pink as he continued to work their cocks until he twitched and gave over to his own climax. They sat, groin to groin, covered in a fine sheen of sweat and sticky blood, both panting. Hux dropped his hands to his sides, further decorating the sheets beneath them. He looked into Ren's face. Ren was positively glowing. His eyes were heavy lidded in his pleasure, a lazy smile across his lips, hair even more wild. The streaks of crimson gave him a predatory edge that Hux found highly erotic.

"Wow." It was all Ren said.

"Yeah." It was all he could think to respond. He hadn't gotten as intense as he sometimes did with the cutting, but that was hands down one of the best orgasms he could recall. He slid off of Ren's lap, flopping to lay on his back next to him. Ren curled up beside and laid his head on Hux's chest. It was too close to cuddling, but Hux couldn't bring himself to make him move. Neither spoke about the next part. The part Hux was beginning to have a plan for disrupting.

"We should do this again." Ren froze at the words. "When you've healed up a bit I'm mean. I can bandage you up." Hux curled his arm around Ren and snugged him closer, smelling the blood and sex and under that the musk that was Ren. He spoke quietly, not wanting to spook the other man, but he felt the tension singing through wherever they made contact.

"We can't." It was mumbled.

"Why not?" Hux shifted, trying to look at Ren's face, but the angles were wrong.

"Because you have to kill me now. That was the deal." But there wasn't much conviction in it.

"Right, your 'suicide.' Well, you don't want me to be implicated right?" He carefully searched the bed with his free hand, looking for the discarded blade. Ren nodded against him.

"Right."

"What would you do if you weren't sure I wasn't going to go down for it?"

Ren made distressed noises. "Look, I don't want anyone in trouble. I want to die, but I want it to mean something. I wanted someone with sadistic tendencies so I could give them the ultimate fulfillment. I thought that was you."

"But why do you want to die?" He was buying time, still searching without large movements.

"Does it matter Hux? Really matter to you or anyone in the grand scheme of things?" Now Ren sounded bitter, but Hux found what he was looking for.

"Well, since this is some of the best sex I've ever had and it wasn't even real sex..." Hux trailed off, lifting his arms. When he was sure Ren was looking he dragged the sharp edge down his arm. Ren bolted upright as Hux kneaded at the cut, urging more blood until it ran freely. Then he flung his arm, spattering the blood across the sheets and Ren's body. "Now you can't die or there is plenty of evidence to tie me here. Add the prints on the knives, the ad and emails, and you didn't think this through very well." Hux grinned boldly as Ren folded in on himself. He was right, he knew Ren hadn't thought of any of the details. He'd thought that if it looked like a suicide no one would investigate. Hux knew better and he was relieved to note when Ren finally seemed to get it.

"So how about instead of killing you we get cleaned up and get something to eat?"

The burst of laughter was so loud and unexpected that Hux nearly yipped in surprise. "I guess that's a yes?"

"Stubborn bastard. Yes."

When Hux finally left hours later he took the top sheet of paper from the memo pad. Ren wouldn't need it anytime soon if he had his way.


End file.
